Attacked at Wal Mart

I hedged a bet earlier today and ventured out to see if I could find gas. My neighbors told me of a couple of places they knew for a fact had gas near us and since I was at a quarter of a tank, I decided to at least drive up to 10 miles to see if they were right. Fortunately for me, they were right and I only had to wait about 15 minutes. Not so bad.

With my newly fueled freedom, I headed over to Satan's Playground (Wal-Mart) because I needed some litter and thread. I strolled through the lingerie department because I've been on a hunt for a bra with no luck as of late. All I want is a simple cotton bra with under wire.

While glancing through a rack, a sales associate came over and asked if I needed any help. I held back my surprise with a "I'm just looking, thanks." Her reply was that the bras I was standing in front of were much to big for me.

Can you show me where the smaller ones are?

Oh, yes, come with me.

I follow her to an area stuffed to the gills with padded bras.

I'm looking for something without padding.

Oh, you need padding.

I don't want padding. I don't care if my boobs are small.

You need a size A. There are some size As in the clearance rack.

I fail to mention to her that I am not a size A. As she digs through the clearance rack, I look for size B.

She grabs a few As and Bs for me and I go and try them on. I had no original intention of trying anything on but I had to get away from the lady.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I had walked the dogs for about 45 minutes and wasn't using the a/c in my car. I've also been using aluminum free deodorant that only lasts about 4 hours. I smelled like a homeless person.

So, I try on the A bra and the damn thing's too big. It was a 36 A. So, maybe? Frick. I try on a 34B and was thrilled that it fit well, even though it was padded like a 16 year olds prom dress. While I'm adjusting and stinking up the dressing room, the lady came by to throw 2 other bras under the door for me.

I gave up and put on my stinky bra and shirt. I opened the door slowly for fear of being accosted again and threw the 5 bras to the lady in charge of the dressing rooms.

I sprinted to the craft department.

I did stop by Customer Service before I left to let them know that the lady was very helpful. She was, except she kept yelling A CUP and/or YOU NEED A PADDED BRA.