FSBO a No-No

I just came across a blog dedicated to awful real estate pictures via Shelterrific. Funny thing is, the bear and I were just discussing this when he was doing his weekly survey of properties in our hood. Images such as the ones above.

Here's the site: It's lovely. I'll take it.

Saturday morning muppets

Found via Digg.com

Hmm. That's too bad.

26 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor Take the test!

Have you had your BM today?

My grandmother (God rest her soul) had the habit up keeping tabs on our BMs when my sister and I were children. She would ask us if we had had a BM or the day and would hand us a prune or two if the answer was a quiet and bashful "No ma'am." I've always considered her inquiries a bit strange until I had a constipated cat.

I never envisioned my future self keeping tabs on the bowels of my 4 legged children, but that seems to be the case nowadays. Fergie seems to have been a little off lately with his new treatments and was refusing food as well as making strange gutteral noises add random moments. The cure for this seems to be what Mike informed me was in our bath tub this morning. "A nice nugget," I was told was waiting for me and was not disposed of due to the abnormal size of the object. Cy had a brown baby boy this morning, one that I would identify as a log jam. He's much happier now as he runs around me begging for food. I suppose the same way my grandmother was once she regulated herself with a metamucil cocktail.

Once again, I've been left speechless

Found on Serious Eats.
I'll now be spending the next 30 minutes looking through the rest of the Jackson Variety show clips. Tito will be worth every second.

Found quilt #2

Found quilt
Originally uploaded by bacaorr

On Craigslist as well. No takers, which is fine by me because I really like it.

Found quilt

Found quilt
Originally uploaded by bacaorr

Found in a thrifted bag of fabric. I recently tried to sell it on Craigslist, but no one ever wants to buy my shite.

Woo hoo!

It didn't bleed! The quilt, I mean. I just took a chance, threw it in the wash, and said a little prayer. Yay!

Fair quilt

I started this one over a year ago and had planned to put it in the state fair until I found out that they only took submissions from children in the quilting category. I quilted the hell out of each square which caused me to tire of it quite quickly and shove underneath a bunch of stuff for a few months.

Now that it's complete, I can't remember if I prewashed the reds or not and am now terrified to wash it. If it comes out of the wash with its original color, I plan on hanging it in our bedroom over the headboard.

R. Kelly mugshot

Julia Nunes

The bear just found Julia Nunes online. I think he was looking for "hot chicks with ukuleles" but he claims he was looking through Weezer videos. Either way, I highly suggest you sample some of her videos. She's even got a cover of The End of the World.

Don't put me out

The bear and I had a celebrity sleepover with none other than recently acquitted R. Kelly the other night. I didn't realize that he had even arrived until the bear woke me up by whispering a sweet nothing that consisted of: "I think the cat peed in the bed." At first I thought it was some new type of sexy talk that bear was trying out on me but he cut on the light and showed me the spots on the bed. The same bed that I had been sleeping in since 11pm (it was now 1am). I"m no Ruth Bader Ginsburg, so ALLEGEDLY, it seems that R. Kelly was shooting another sex tape within that 2 hour period and must have slipped me a ruphie earlier in the evening since I didn't hear a thing. He ALLEGEDLY peed on the bed twice, the bedroom floor, the bedroom rug, and in the hallway. I'm surprised that the bear didn't hear all of the filming/production noise that was going on, but since the a/c blew up he's been keeping his door shut to maximize the air from the window unit. Lucky him.

After being kicked out of the bedroom, Mr. Kelly ALLEGEDLY proceeded to film his latest video in the bathroom using our dirty clothing as an allegory about "keeping the man down." He somehow got in touch with Triumph the Insult Dog and they seemed to be working on duet material from Triumph's new album, Come Poop With Me. Yeah, that's right. He ALLEGEDLY left a nugget in the kitchen. He and Mr. Triumph must have gotten into our Courvoisier too. Such a celebration is generally not that big of a deal, unless you can't hold your liquor and hurl 2 times in my craft room, ALLEGEDLY of course.

I do not appreciate Mr. Kelly's ALLEGED ability to turn my house into an open sewer in such a short amount of time. My only hope has been to send him on his way for a new project which includes shooting scenes at the "Vet" location and testing out some new material called "Glucose Curves." The bear escorted to our special celebrity to the vet this morning, unfortunately the police would not comply to an escort even at the demand and insistence of Mr. Kelly.

It could be worse I suppose. We could have had to sit through the entirety of the hip-hopera, "The Closet."

Because I'm up at 8am on a Sunday morning

The way I like to think of them. For some reason, the present day B-52's really freak me out because they make me realize that I'm aging too.

Cy "Wilford Brimley" Murphy Baca Orr

We got Cy's test results back yesterday and he was diagnosed with diabetes. I took him to the vet in the afternoon so they could show me how to inject him with insulin. The tech who was helping me probably thought I was a total ass when I rolled my eyes at the idea of having to get up at 6:30am to inject him. I can only agree with her. I am a total ass when it comes to sleeping until the last possible moment and wonder if I'll truly be able to get up on the weekends. I did get up at the right time today and proceeded to load up a syringe while humming "Final Hit" as I chased down the cat before his breakfast. I managed to prick my finger and am not sure whether or not he got a full dose, but what else would you expect with me?

Beat this dish cAndy!

Found via Neatorama.

Speaking your mind

I've made sure that blogger is set up to allow you two to comment. Just click on comments, make your peace, type in the word verification and click the name/url button.

Henry Miller bathroom monologues

I can't remember if I posted this or not and I also can't remember where I found it. You can find the rest of the series on YouTube.

Don't hassle the Hoff?

In honor of taking Cy to the vet tomorrow

Happy 4th!

We R awsum.